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Christine:) Take a look into my Mindless Mind
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idonegaffedit:

i accidentally told my friend the sweetest pick up line ever. i started talking about solipsism (the belief that everything around you was created by your mind) and i went “If everything around me is all my imagination, then you’re the best thing I’ve come up with” she was speechless for a solid five minutes.

debilitati0n:

bettervillains:

life-at-taco-bell:

You would think that teenagers would be the rudest customers when really it’s mostly old, middle-aged people. 

  

The elderly are either adorable or the wrinkly reincarnation of Satan there is no in between

breadstiks:

it’s physically impossible to fit words into a venn diagram

leonkumquat:

when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank

they’re married now

atouchofsmiles:

pvtleonardchurch:

jack-baraatwat:

Being friends with me consists of me sending you bad jokes at 2:47 in the morning

listen up you motherfucker

friendship